Captain Pugwash Character Names
Crying Boy Curse Myth
Immigrant's Ode etc - An Analysis
Letter from Army Girl (variations)
Medical Acronyms and Doctors' Slang
Queen Of England To Restore British Rule Over United States (2016)
Revocation of Declaration of Independence Lore (2000)
Spoof Earthquake Appeals
Threat Levels Around the World Lore
Twelve Days of Christmas Lore
Hokey-Cokey & O Come All Ye Faithful - Hidden Meanings or Modern Hobbyhorses?
Shag Bands and Sex Bracelets Lore
Walkers Crisp Packet Collections and Similar Hoaxes

Aeromodelling Humor (from the 1980s)
Anglo-European Trucker Humour
The Anti-Bike
Atomic Level Tiredness
Babbage Difference Engine No 2 : The advertising pitch ...
Bold Foot and Shy Foot Adventures : For all foot-lovers
Book of Aeth : For all Aethists
Bufty the Vampire Slayer: bicycle-geek humor
Canteen Food Memo : perils of outsourcing canteen caterers.
Christmas Studies O Level Exam Paper Brit photocopier humour (1980s)
Company Procedure in Case of Imminent Asteroid Impact Crossbred Dogs and Mutant Moggies
Difference Between Hardware & Software Engineers
Difference Between Men's & Women's Magazines
Disability Rhyming Slang
Electronics Engineers Guide to Gasms OR-gasms and AND-gasms!
Federal Aviation Authority Literary Criticism
Fools' Errands : Long waits, tall orders & pachyderm trunking
Geekospheres - The World of Nerds and Geeks
Greeblings - Vanishing Socks & Multiplying Coat Hangers!
Guide to Student Types on Adult Courses
Guide to the Various Species of Newsgroup User
Hardware Engineers are from Venus, Software Engineers are from Mars
Haynes Manuals - The Real Meanings
Icarus Accident Report : CAA's first ever investigation?
If Military Hardware Salesmen Were Like Double Glazing Salesmen
If Software Engineering Was Like Car Mechanics Hand me that DO-WHILE-loop-optimising wrench ....
ISO: Inebriated Staff Outing : Company procedure for pub crawls
Letters from Sari : letters from the 'daughter from hell'.
Lift Demons - the real explanation of powered flight!
Little Known Canine Ailments
Little Known Children's Ailments
Military (and Civilian) Reactions to Snake Threats
Miserable Bastard Scale - for newsgroups and forums
Mozart Effect: Music's effect on developing children
My Dog Has Fleas - In Various Musical Styles
Occupational Reactions to Locating Black Cats in Dark Cellars
Treknology Ode to Treknology
Original Trojan Horse Virus Alert : Correspondence between Hector & Laocoon
Paindaemoanium : parody biography of fictional rock band
PC Quizzes
Pegasus Air-Strike Incident Report : what if Zeus shot down Pegasus & Bellerophon today?
Perils of Company Canteen Food
Porcine Aviation Files : OldMacDonald-Dugless, Boaring & Swillair
Porcine Aviation Files II: Pioneers of Porcine Aviation
Porcine Aviation Files III: Piggles of The Royal Porcine Flying Corps
Porcine Aviation Files IV: Ovine Aviation - The Sheep Strike Back
Porcine Aviation Air Force Marching Song
Process Improvements From History: Boudica
Process Improvements From History: Vlad Dracula
Rare British Fauna: Haggis, Priddy Oggy, Welsh Rarebit etc
Real Chat-Room Romances, Cyber Striptease & Swarfega Seduction
Regional Barbie and Ken Dolls : British parody
Relationship Lifecycle : software engineer's guide to man-woman relationships
Return of the Cheddar : cheesy SF parody
Sadomasochist's Dictionary Alternative BDSM Dictionary
Sadomasochists' Peace Protest
Ultimate Fireworks
What If Microsoft Made Cats, What If Microsoft Made Dogs?
Women Humor: Sexist, but funny
Work Experience Student's Diary & Apprentice From Hell

95 Was Painless, Windows Pie
Another Gene in the Pool
Another Glitch in the Call, Code of the Crimson King
Boeing Planster's Vision
The Bold Aviator (WWII song)
DIY Enthusiast's Country Song
Electro-Optics Engineer's Lament
Dragonqueen's Favorite Poems
Green Eggs & Ram (Extended) and other odes
Humans Can Lick Fingers Too
In My Killfile
Intercity Blues
Johnny Comes Marching From Iraq, Iraqi Torturer
Just Don't Say You're English
Oh God, It's Friday Night Again
Old Rover - Now I've owned an old Rover for many a year ...
Ode To A Predatory bus Spotter
Poor Percy P, The Pure Mathematician whose pure maths was applied!
Quoth the Server "404"
Sodhexo, Sodoffskian Rhapsody, Sodoffskian Pie, Sodoffski Fair - Canteen Food!
Song of the Gremlins (WWII song)
Synergy Song "When the Board-room cries and you don't know why"
System Test Twenty-Oh-Three and VAX Crash Ballad
Un1ty Is Painless
The Walrus & The Carpenter & Whether Pigs Have Wings
We're Never Going To Get To Wembley (Football Satire)

Albion & Babylon
Beauty and madness and despair
Bus Verse bus preservation and bus spotter verse
Castles in the Air, If I COuld Fly Like An Eagle
Chamber of Arcane Delights : temptation
Child of the Sun : a stranded time/space traveller
The Conspiracy : hidden knowledge
Dream Poetry : written in dreams!
The Dreams We Can't Recall
Earth's Most Ancient Dreams
The Faerie Ring : narcotic nightmare
The Final Retreat and other post-apocalyptic poems
Folksong For The Common Man Last Lay of Matty Groves, Gin & St Giles, Chelmsford Witch Trial Ballad & other folk verses
Forever Near : "Long since gone - forever near"
Genesis/Nemesis : a computer too clever for its own good
Goth verse Mostly written for friends' bands
Grapple Fan / Me Name Is Tom : Traditional British wrestling and other childhood verses
Insanity Incorporated : multiple personalities

The Judgement of Man, The Man Who Spoke The Truth, Planet With No Name
Kink Verse : love poetry for alternative lifestyles
Man-Power & Slave Song
Mortality, The Bargain, Lament of the Immortals
Paranoid Verse written during depression
Patchouli Dreams : when hippies grow up
Petulia's Party and All Petulia's Friends
Rock Verse written for friends' bands
The Sanitised Society (or "we can't bear the sight of blood")
Short and Silly Ditties
Sirens : where will you be when the sirens sound?
Someone Somewhere : lament for those who vanish unloved and unreported
Stanger In his Native Land, Wandering Angel : lost souls far from home
Sundip ... and Beyond : collection of very short verses
The Alderman Who Wished His Daughter Had Been Born a Son
Thunderflash and Tinkerbell : how he got Tinkerbell to kiss his ass!
Unstill Life - some reflections on modern life
War Verse : war and warriors - past present, future and mythical.
We Are The Sirens
Wind (In the 1880s)

Favourite Poems
Favourite Quotes from Poems & Songs

A Dream of Elves : to see what is hidden; to be hidden from what is seen and the madness it brings.
Alain and the Ivory Dragon : A young boy discovers that dragons aren't quite what legend makes them out to be.
The Ancient Hero : A maidservant goes in search of King Arthur, but neither are quite what they seem.
Aymees : The aliens who shared Earth's final days.
The Beautiful Ones : A tale of an elite and magically endowed aristocracy.
Bloody Mary : A vampire hunter with a difference?
Body Loan : the latest in interstellar commerce - loan out your body as a temporary vessel for an alien mind!
The Bridge : questioning reality
The Bright and the Bleak : parallel worlds and parallel lives
Caerinnon : A sorcerer in our world's far-flung future seeks answers from the ancient past.
Caldwell Street : Sometimes a place can be a ghost, not just have ghosts.
The Cult of the Wolf and the Rose : some scribblings left over from role play game days.
Dale Fliers : A premonition dream (from 1979) of an England where football (soccer) has been banned.
Dancing the World's End : Four people dance the dance of life to revive a dying land
The Dead King : A dead and despised king is reawakened to help his country in this tale of war and nec-romance.
A Different Kind of Immortality : trading flesh for memory-implanted silicon - death or immortality?
The Director : A dream of sex, work and betrayal
The Dove Prince : A fairy tale about two lovers in a world of magic and beauty.
Eric the Vampire : A woman who falls in love with a vampire? (And before ever hearing of Buffy!)
The Forests of the Moon : Finding myself in another reality where the moon is green and the world is drowned.
Future City : A dream which dumped me in the future, to being forcibly resettled in a hive of glass and metal.
The Golden Motor Car : a dream of finding myself in a world where the train had never been invented.
The Hawk and the Demon : short dream of supernatural beings loose in our world
Her Strong Enchantments Failing : a sorceress is challenged by a powerful young wizard - what will it mean for her land?
The Human Factor : A dream about human evolution in a machine-run society.
The Hunter : Short paranoid dream/story of a mutant human stalked by a genetically engineered hunter.
I Fade Away : Short dream that hinted at vampires, with a twist.
The Journey : a fairground accident sends two people on a strange journey which only one of them will complete.
Journey To My Station In Life : Dream about an unusual train journey.
The Last Days of Mankind : A dream in which I found myself part of a human resistance against aliens.
The Last Dinosaurs : A dream of sentient dinosaurs who left behind genetically engineered proto-humans, but no trace of the saurian civilization.
Lights, Camera, Action! Short tale of passion on and off the film set.
Loving the Centaur : A short erotic tale about a creature half-man, half-horse.
Magnus Svengar and the Tigress : A dream about a Viking invasion in a post-war near-future, and the rebel who resisted the invaders.
Maybe Another Time : a love affair across the years.
Mrs Watson gets A Cab
Necra and the Politics of the Dead : Necra, where Living Rights Actionists are losing out to the Dead Party.
Odd Short Dreams : A few odd, short but very vivid dreams which made an impact on me.
Odd Short Stories : A few very short stories.
Only Two Days : A dream of my own death (I gave up smoking after this dream)
The Pale Horse : An unexpectant entrant in a horse-race.
The Predator Machines : A dream of deadly AI machines on another planet
Puppy and Otter Stories : A cute, innocent puppy and his romps with his best friend, the otter
Pyramids and Memories : an immortal traveller on a far future Earth remembers how it once was.
Return Tickets Are Not Valid On This Route : A train to nowhere.
Sandstorms : A tale of honour, mercy, courage and hope among the glider fliers who live in a vast, harsh desert.
The Sceptic : A commentary on a paranormal investigation.
Silicon Dreams : Two desert traders discover a relic from the time before.
Sleeping With The Devil : One night of ecstasy ... but don't look into his eyes!
A Song of Magic : A singer invokes the wrath of a great mage when she falls in love with his apprentice.
The Soul-Harp : A travelling harpist finds herself playing the harp which once belonged to the greatest harpist of all, an instrument which is reputed to contain his soul.
Space Port at Shakers Valley : Can you live a past life in the future?
Spider Ship : A space rescue mission manned by spiders.
Summer's Echoes : A sceptical ghost-hunter finds himself in the middle of an all-too-solid ancient battle.
The Teacher Learns : A teacher and student journey into the not-too-distant future.
The Thinker : In a series of dreams over several years I saw/felt the life of a person living in a future time.
Thor Hammerskjald and the Train: A train journey across a snowy continent.
A Visit to the University of Life
The Wheel That Turns The World : Odd short story about seeing the cogwheels of the universe.
A World I Knew : Odd dream about a person trying to escape the parasitic creatures taking over humans.
Tubby's Secret Life : Innuendo-laden story, which might or might not be erotic depending on the reader.
Where Were You Last Night : unerotica.
Wincing Matilda 1: The Vasectomy Epic
Wincing Matilda 2: The Kidney Stone Saga
Wincing Matilda 3: Black Sack Story
The World In A Wine Glass : a chase, its limits defined by the duration of a wine-glass's fall.

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