When Johnny comes marching home from war,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He'll wonder what it all was for,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The Weapons of Mass Destruction - where?
We cannot find them anywhere,
And we'll all ask "Why?"
When Johnny comes marching home.

When Johnny comes marching from Iraq,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He'll think of friends who won't come back,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He "freed" Iraq, he got Saddam,
The reason he went was still a sham,
And we'll all ask "Why?"
When Johnny comes marching home.

The war on terror isn't through,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Osama, we're still hunting you,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The soldiers in Afghanistan,
Al-Quaida and the Taliban,
And we'll all ask "Why?"
When Johnny comes marching home.

When Johnny comes home from the gulf war,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He'll soon find out what it was for,
Hurrah! Hurrah!
A personal grudge by Pres'dent Bush,
To give his dad's en'my the push,
And he'll then ask "Why?"
When Johnny comes marching home.


America's marching off to war.
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
They don't know what they're fighting for.
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
The Yanks are in Afghanistan,
They're fighting with the Taliban,
We're all less safe now
America's gone to war!

The war on terror's in Iraq.
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Go out on ships but bags come back.
Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
They've got Saddam, they're in Baghdad,
Insurgent strikes are getting bad,
We're all less safe now
America's gone to war!


For many years in Saddam's day,
I tortured folks in wicked ways,
Men and women, girls and boys,
Were my short-lived fragile toys -
Electrocuted, pulled about
And then I'd throw their bodies out.

Saddam's been toppled, Baathists gone,
Yet strangely, torture still goes on,
The screams as loud, the blood as red,
Prisoners end up just as dead,
But now it's called interrogation -
Is this the price of "liberation"?

It's this globalised economy -
The "good guys" stole my job from me,
They came here in their jeeps and tanks,
My job out-sourced to bloody yanks;
It seems that I am out of favour,
Iraq has switched to migrant labour!

Copyright 2004, Mark A. Mandel
Tune: Witnesses' Waltz (Leslie Fish)

One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, more,
How many deaths in this misguided war?
Launched on a lie and promoted by fraud--
The guy at the top thinks he's talking with God.

Gather 'round, everyone, Don, Karl, and Dick,
We need a war and we need one right quick.
The President's getting a whole lotta grief
But no one can fight the Commander-in-Chief.

One thousand, two thousand, three thousand, four,
To question is treason; you know we're at war!
America's special, we're right and we're blessed.
We can do what we want because we know what's best.

Saddam is a tyrant, a real SOB,
We just have to say he's got WMD.
- What do you mean, do I think we can win?
You can sell any story if you have the right spin!

One thousand, three thousand, five thousand, more,
Lay all the blame at Saddam Hussein's door.
We'll say 9/11 was part of his plan,
And Enron, and anything else that we can.

Supplying this war is no job for a kid.
We know who can do it, no need for a bid.
Deliver it straight to Dick's buddies' own hands
And we'll pour the champagne when the big contract lands.

One thousand, five thousand, ten thousand, more,
Corporate sponsorship's good for a war!
Give to your candidates, help them to win,
And be sure they remember you once they get in.

Did somebody mention that prisoners have rights?
Those rules are for bad guys, and our hats are white.
And boys will be boys, but so who gives a crap?
It's just some enlisted jerks taking the rap.

One thousand, ten thousand, twenty and more,
We've got to interrogate, this is a war.
Conventions and treaties that we might have signed
Don't count if there's loopholes our lawyers can find.

You kill a civilian, they say it's a crime,
But all of our victims are terrorist slime.
I hear that some kid was shot up with his mom -
You never know who might be packing a bomb.

One thousand, twenty and thirty and more,
It's unpatriotic, how people keep score.
Hide all the coffins, keep people away,
It's a shame we can't treat all the names the same way.

Remember, we've got an election to win
And no one remembers the Gulf of Tonkin.
Is there anything else we've forgotten? - Oh, hell,
At some point we'll have to tell Dubya as well!

One thousand, thirty and fifty and more,
How many deaths in this criminal war?
To paraphrase Stalin, that leader of note:
"The voters don't count, because we count the vote."


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