JUST DON'T SAY YOU'RE ENGLISH
(Found beside company photocopier) 

Goodbye to my England-So long my old friend
Your days are now numbered, being brought to an end
To be Scottish, Irish or Welsh, that’s just fine
But don’t say you’re English, that’s way out of line.

The French and the Germans may call themselves such,
As may Norwegians, the Swedes and the Dutch,
You can say you are Russian, or maybe a Dane.
But don’t say you’re English, ever again

At Broadcasting House that word is taboo
In Brussels they’ve scrapped it, in Parliament too,
Even schools are affected, staff do as they’re told,
They mustn’t teach children about the England of old

Writers like Shakespeare, Milton and Shaw
Do the pupils not learn about them anymore?
How about Agincourt, Hastings ,Arnhem or Mons
When England lost hosts of her very brave sons?

We are not Europeans how can we be?
Europe is miles away, over the sea,
We’re the English from England, let’s all be proud-
Stand up and be counted- shout it out loud!

Let’s tell our government-and Brussels too-
Were proud of our heritage and the Red White and Blue.
Fly the flag of St. George or the Union Jack.
Let the world know- WE WANT OUR ENGLAND BACK!

Tommy Lucas is lucky, this land is at peace,
No snipers in windows, no guerrillas in trees,
There's no war in Worcestershire, Wiltshire or Hants,
But Tommy's a victim of pay-cuts and grants -
The unit he needs was closed down last year,
If he can't get his treatment, the end will be near.

Poor Tommy Lucas - there is nowt he can do,
Pushed once again to the back of the queue.

The children of far distant battle-torn lands,
Peer from our TV screen, we wring our hands,
So we send jet planes and say "come to the UK -
We'll se you get treatment, we'll make you okay."
So poor Tommy Lucas, his future looks bleak,
While yet more foreign children were treated this week.

Poor Tommy Lucas - there is nowt he can do,
Pushed once again to the back of the queue.

Tommy Lucas is lucky, this land's not at war,
But he still can't get treatment he's waited long for,
The children from far lands get treatment instead,
While Britons like Tommy still wait for a bed -
The injured of Britain has waiting list places,
While imported injuries take all the bed-spaces.

People of Britain - there seems nowt we can do,
Pushed once again to the back of the queue.