QUOTH THE SERVER "404"
Variants
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn-surfed, weak and weary,
Over many a strange and spurious porn-site of "hot chicks galore",
While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
"Tis not possible," I muttered, "give me back my free hardcore!"
Quoth the server, "404."
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I porn-surfed, weak and weary,
For many a quaint and curious website of X-rated lore,
Found the server nearly napping, http replies a-slacking,
Though my loins were filled with burning, yearning for a teenage whore,
And as I paused awhile in hope that service be restored -
Quoth the server, "404."
Once upon a night-time dreary, as I web-surfed, red-eyed, weary,
I resisted strange and lurid websites of hot sex galore,
But my curiosity grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
I gave in and clicked the link to see what waited there in store.
And with the clicking, came the ticking, of the page that was no more
Quoth the server, "404"
Once upon a porn-site dreary, where I lingered, red-eyed, bleary,
O'er many a strangely grammared page of Russian girls galore,
Closing popups then cascading, spyware programs now pervading,
Came a sight that set me thinking, linking to hot chicks galore.
"'Fetch the URL," I muttered, but browser stuttered as before -
Quoth the server, "404"
QUOTH THE SERVER "404"
By Dragonqueen
Once upon a web-surf weary, while I pondered red-eyed, bleary,
Over many a quaint and curious website of X-rated lore,
Smiled and nodded, dodging cookies, looking for the films of nookie,
And as always, dodging spyware, aware in my search for more
And more explicit pictures, of the housewives that were bored,
Nothing kinky, only porn.
As I wandered I remembered, a URL found last December,
That caused a twitching in my member, that I rubbed till it was sore
Eagerly I typed the address, half-remembered, half a mad guess
In my mind it stirred a madness - madness for a dark-eyed whore,
For a sad-eyed shameless maiden who displayed her charms - and more!
Nameless on some site of porn..
Feeling guilty, sad, uncertain, my urges had my conscience hurting
But thrilling - filling me with fantastic feelings never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I sat repeating
"I'm just a visitor entreating entrance to a site of porn
I am a visitor entreating images that give me horn
This is all and nothing more."
Deep into the popups peering, long I sat there wondering, fearing,
Had I not typed correct the URL once more?
For free hardcore (for I was frugal), in my lusting turned to Google,
Typed keywords that I might ogle pages of hot chicks galore,
And I whispered to the phosphor "give me back my free hardcore -
Only that and nothing more.
But web controls then saw the searches, clamped down on illicit urges,
"Access Denied" was all I found and nothing more,
On porn-sites it saw me shirking when I really should be working
Like a spectre always lurking, blocking free sex sites and more
The horny housewives sang their siren-call no more
Quoth the Server "404"
Determined then to circumvent it, another address I then entered
Taking me, I hoped, to our server's less secure back door
But someone had secured the proxies, denying access to web doxies,
No more ladies hot and foxy, but still I could not be sure,
And so, with shaking hands I typed the arcane codes once more -
Quoth the Server "404"