MUTANT MUTTS - THE ULTIMATE CROSSBREED DOGS

What you get if you cross the following breeds ….

Airedale + Malamute

Airmal, litters that go first class

Airedale + Spaniel

Airiel, a dog that washes whiter than white

Akita + Shiba Inu

Shikita, a bright yellow, banana shaped dog

Anatolian Karabash + Dalmation

Anamation, a dog often spotted in the company of cartoonists

Australian Silky + Bichon Frise

Austrich, a dog which buries its head in the sand

Basenji + Schipperke

Baserke, a dog that's mad about its owner

Basset Hound + Golden Retriever

Golden Asset Retriever, a dog which tracks down and fetches things of value.

Bearded Collie + Japanese Chin

Bearded Chin, a dog that could do with a close shave

Bichon Frise + Husky

Frisky Bitch, known to her friends as Miss hot dog

Bloodhound + Borzoi

Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun

Bloodhound + Labrador

Blabador, a dog that barks incessantly

Boxer + German Shorthair

Boxer Shorts, a dog never seen in public

Boxer + Setter

Boxset, always sold in pairs and come in a collector's limited edition presentation pack

Brussels Griffin + Labrador

Griffindor, the ideal dog for Harry Potter

Bull Mastiff + Whippet

Bullet, a fast-moving dog which always makes a great impact

Bull Terrier + Shih Tzu

Bullshitz, a gregarious but unreliable breed

Cairn Terrier + Jack Russell Terrier

Cairjack, a dog who holds up your car when you change a flat tyre

Canaan Dog + Poodle

Canoodle, the perfect pooch for courting couples

Chihuahua + Whippet

Chiapet, as advertised on TV ...

Chow Chow + Powder Puff Chinese Crested Dog

Chowder, a dog from thick and hearty stock

Cocker Spaniel + Maltese

Cocktese, the bitch that says she will, but then she won't

Cocker Spaniel + Shiba Inu

Cockinu, what the philandering husband owns before acquiring a Cockrot

Cocker Spaniel + Poodle

Cockerpoo, a sulphur-crested dog ideal for parrot-lovers.

Cocker Spaniel + Rottweiler

Cockrot, the perfect puppy for that philandering ex-husband

Collie + Husky

Hussie, the perfect companion for the owner of a Cockrot

Collie + Komondor

Collandor, a dog full of holes

Collie + Lhasa Apso

Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport

Collie + Malamute

Commute, a dog that travels to work

Collie + Thai Ridgeback

Collar-and-Thai, a well dressed woofer

Corgi + Basset Hound

Corset, a pooch notable for its narrow waist and once popular with refined ladies

Doberman + Poodle

Doodle, a messy pup

Dalmation + Puli

Dali, a surreal hound

Dingo + Maremma

Dilemma, a dog which is always in two minds about everything (okay, so I had to cheat to get this one)

Doberman + Poodle

Doodle, a messy pup

Duck Tolling Retriever + Corgi

Ducki, a dog with camp behaviour

Finnish Spitz + Dalmatian

Spotz (cheating, but fun); or Spit-Spot - a dog for Mary Poppins

French Poodle + Rhodesian Ridgeback

Fridge, a really cool dog to have

German Shepherd + Springer Spaniel

Gerry Springer, cool-headed pooch for controlling talk show participants

Golden Retriever + Wheaten Terrier

Golden Wheat Retriever, a dog which fetches your breakfast

Great Dane + Scottish Terrier

A "Great Scott! How did they ever manage it?"

Great Pyrenees + Dachshund

Pyradachs, a puzzling breed

Great Pyrenees + Jack Russell Terrier

Pyrajacks, don't bet on 'em

Greyhound + Skye Terrier

Grey Skye, a dog for a rainy day which goes quickly

Harrier + Pit Bull

Hairy Pits, more common in Europe than in the USA

Highland Terrier + Jack Russell Terrier

Hijack, gets you in trouble on airplanes

Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel

Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle

Jack Russell Terrier + Labrador

Jackdor, a breed to crow about?

Japanese Chin + Collie

Chillie, a dog that loves Mexican Food

Japanese Chin + Mexican Hairless

Chinless, a dog for civil servants, bureaucrats and other petty functionaries

Japanese Tosa + Setter

Toaster, a well bread dog which pops up when ready

Keeshond + Setter

Keester, you can't get this dog off its duff

Kerry Blue Terrier + Bloodhound

Blueblood, a dog of royal descent

Kerry Blue Terrier + Golden Retriever

Kerrygold, a dog which butters you up

Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier

Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries

Kuvasz + Golden Retriever

Kuvasz Gold

Labrador + Elkhound

Label, the dog you can stick anywhere

Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever

Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists

Malamute + Pointer

Moot Point, owned by....oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway

Mastiff + Spaniel

Maniel, a dog which comes with its own user guide

Mastiff + Staffordshire Bull Terrier

Stiff Staff, an upstanding member in canine society

Newfoundland + Basset Hound

Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors

Papillon + Cocker Spaniel

Papicock, a dog that talks arrant nonsense

Pekingese + Dachshund

Peking Dach, owned by Chinese restauranteurs

Pekingese + King Charles Spaniel

Peeking, a shifty-looking dog with excellent corner-of-eye vision

Pekingese + Lhasa Apso

Peekasso, an abstract dog

Pekinese + Rottweiler

Parrot, repeats everything you say

Plott Hound + Setter

Plotter, a dog which keeps shady company and makes plans behind your back.

Pointer + Setter

Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet

Pomeranian + Komondor

Pomandor, no more doggy odour with this sweet smelling mutt!

Pomeranian + Shar Pei

Pompei, the perfect pooch for scholars of classical history and vulcanology

Poodle + Chinese Foo

Poo-Foo, suffers from frequent diarrhoea

Poodle + Great Pyrenees

Poopyree, a dog that smells good

Portuguese Water Dog + Thai Ridgeback

Porridge, the perfect pooch for someone serving time

Puli + Foxhound

Poxhound, a dishevelled, disease-ridden dog which spreads illness wherever it goes

Puli + Saluki

Puki, a dog renowned for its vomiting

Pyrenees + Akita

Pyrakita, a dog for the budgerigar fan (related to the Cockerpoo)

Rottweiler + Otterhound

Rotter, canine companion for the cads, bounders and unfaithful men

Samoyed + Japanese Tosa

A Samosa that really bites back.

Samoyed + Norwich Terrier

Samwich, bread to perfection

Scotch Terrier + Water Spaniel

Scotch & Water, served throughout England (as opposed to watered scotch, served throughout the USA)

Shih Tzu + Poodle

Shitz Poo, a dog with incontinence problems

Shih Tzu + Saluki

Suzuki, goes for miles on a single tank of fuel

Shih Tzu + Spitz

Shitz, a dog with an incontinence problem

Smooth Fox Terrier + Chow Chow

Smooch, a dog who loves to kiss

Spaniel + Dachshund

Spandachs, in gyms everywhere

Spitz + Bloodhound

Spitz Blood, a dog prone to extreme anger when provoked

Spitz + Chow Chow

Spitz Chow, a dog that throws up a lot

Springer + Spitz

Spritzer, a dog with a sparkling whine

Sussex Spaniel + Cocker Spaniel

Sucker, a mutt that believes everything it's told.

Terrier + Bulldog

Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes

Tibetan Terrier + Brussels Griffin

Tiffin, a dog which always stops for tea

Treeing Walker Coonhound + Chesapeake Bay Retriever

Bay Tree Retriever, a dog owned by horticulturalists and garden centres

Wiener Dog + Rottweiler

(Okay, so this is really cheating!) Bratweiler, a German dog found at the snack bars at sporting events

Wirehaired Dachshund + Mexican Hairless

Wireless, an entertaining dog popular in households with no TV

Whippet + Husky

Whisky, the perfect pooch for someone who likes a tipple.

Whippet + Norwegian Elkhound

Whelkhound - the fisherman's friend!

Whippet + Retriever

Whip Retriever, the choice canine for the dominatrix

 

MUTANT MOGS - THE ULTIMATE CROSSBREED CATS

What you get if you cross the following breeds of cat ….

Contributing breeds can be found at http://www.messybeast.com/breeds.htm

Alaskan Snow Cat x Chinchilla

Alaskan Chill, a cat which is always cold

Bombay x Abyssinian

Bombay Abyss, the nearest that cat breeders can get to the Black Hole of Calcutta

Brazilian Shorthair x Javanese

Brazilian Java; rich roast for a fuller flavour

Burmese x German Rex

Burger, preferred feline pet of junk-food addicts

Burmese x Persian

Burper, a cat which belches continually; prone to indigestion

Copper x American Wirehair

Copper Wire, a cat which is an excellent conductor; often sold in twisted pairs.

Cornish Rex x Cream Longhair

Cornish Cream, a clotted cat which goes well with scones and jam

Czech Curly Cat x Sumxu

Czechsum, a favourite pet of software engineers and makers of programmable logic devices

Devon Rex x Cream Longhair

Devon Cream, another clotted cat which goes well with scones and jam

Longhair x Thai Lilac

Hair Thai, a cat with a ponytail

Maine Coon x American Wirehair

Mains Wire, the electrically powered feline

Manx x Sphinx

Minx, a mischievous little cat with no tail to tell; a cat full of bare-faced cheek

Persian x Selkirk Rex

Persel, a cat which washes whiter than white

Russian Blue x Ragdoll

Russian Doll, comes in many sizes and stacks neatly away

Russian Blue x Persian

Bluper, a cat which makes mistakes whenever it meows.

Scottish Fold x Australian Mist

Scotch Mist; I haven't the foggiest idea about this one.

Tonkinese x Toy Persian

Tonka Toy: It digs! It dumps!

Tuxedo Cat x Thai Lilac

Tuxedo-and-Thai, always immaculately dressed.

Vichien Mas x Chaus

Vichiaus, you wouldn't want to mix with this temperamental feline

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