A long, long time ago,
I can still remember
how my PC used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance,
that I could make my files dance
and maybe I'd be happy for a while.
Now my upgrades make me shiver
with every service pack delivered.
Bad news on the desktop
Once committed you can't stop.
I can't remember if I cried
when I bought a slice of Windows pie.
But something touched the config files
the day my system died. So...

Bye bye my computer has died.
I shouldn't have upgraded it to Win 95,
Good old DOS made all my programs work fine,
And I should have stuck with the command line,
I should have stuck with the command line.

Did you install 3.1
and did you think it would be fun,
did the books all tell you so?
Did you believe in old DOS 3 -
A whizz with Edlin and Xtree
Before you swapped command prompts for windows?
Well Norton always saved my disks,
Whenever I took stupid risks,
No wastebaskets for me -
Just Norton Gold for old DOS 3.
But the days of DOS they were done and gone,
The days of MS Windows had come along,
Never knew that things could go so wrong,
the day my system died. I started singing...

Bye bye my computer has died.
I shouldn't have upgraded it to Win 95,
Good old DOS made all my programs work fine,
And I should have stuck with the command line,
I should have stuck with the command line.

Now all these years we've had Windows,
The Microsoft profit grows and grows,
but things aren't how they used to be.
The latest windows system soon arrived,
The one they christened 95
3.1 was almost obsolete.
And we got the great blue screen of death
The processor ran short of breath,
With the hourglass of doom;
A bug-fix followed soon.
And I waited for my apps to start,
But Microsoft had made its mark,
My disk sang dirges in the dark
the day the system died. I was singing...

Bye bye my computer has died.
I shouldn't have upgraded it to Win 95,
Good old DOS made all my programs work fine,
And I should have stuck with the command line,
I should have stuck with the command line.

Hocus pocus, now I can't run Lotus,
All my icons are out of focus,
Windows crashed and disk was trashed,
Config file was shot to hell,
I tried to load the Office suite,
To make my software set complete,
But the programs just said missing DLL.
Now I've got my Excel and Access,
And as for Word, it's just a mess.
I look for DOS commands,
And got Windows reprimands,
On Windows functions aren't so keen,
Can't print directories with Print Screen,
No DOS-shell, know what I mean?
The day my system died - I started singing...

Bye bye my computer has died.
I shouldn't have upgraded it to Win 95,
Good old DOS made all my programs work fine,
And I should have stuck with the command line,
I should have stuck with the command line.

And so then I loaded 98
My system didn't work so great;
Can't we return to DOS again?
Cos my ini files and autoexec,
Auto-updated, auto-wrecked;
Config.sys somewhere in lost chains,
With all the tools that I could muster,
Salvaged my OS from lost clusters,
No install shield born of Gates prevent that fate.
As install wizard did its work,
And I wondered what new bugs could lurk.
I saw flickering of disk-drive lights,
I hear Bill Gates laughing with delight
the day my system died. He was singing...

Bye bye your computer has died.
You shouldn't have upgraded it from Win 95,
Good old DOS made all your programs work fine,
And you should have stuck with the command line,
You should have stuck with the command line.

I met a girl who said to me,
"So why don't you upgrade to NT?"
But I just smiled and turned away.
I went down to the software store
where I'd bought my 3.1 before,
but the geek there said that NT wouldn't play.
My disk's too small, processor weak,
For the Windows NT 4 I seek,
Give me DOS back please! DOS-prompt and directories!
But the system I admired most,
the Edlin, Xtree, holy DOS,
they all were killed by new Windows,
the day my system died. The geek was singing...

Bye bye your computer has died.
You shouldn't have upgraded it from Win 95,
Good old DOS made all your programs work fine,
And you should have stuck with the command line,
You should have stuck with the command line.

The hourglass of doom I see,
I should have stuck with old DOS 3,
But now I've got Windows NT,
I realize and I can see that ...

Chorus:
95 was painless
It brought on sev'ral changes
But I could take or leave it if I pleased

I knew all there was to know,
About DOS 3, though old and slow,
X-Tree and Edlin soon would go,
When I chose to go with the flow, and ...

First I installed 3.1,
Those windows then seemed lots of fun,
But bugs and crashes had begun,
Now I know they troubled everyone, and ...

95 was on its way,
The game of Windows here to stay,
I had to upgrade anyway,
So this is all I have to say, that ...

I went to 98 as well,
My apps can't find their DLLs,
My registry is shot to hell,
Blue screen of death is not so swell, and ...

Now NT seemed the one for me,
Multi-user and bug-free,
My operating sys can't see,
The contents of my registry, and ...

A user once requested me,
To answer questions that are key,
Is it NT or not NT?
Oh I replied, "Oh why ask me?" cos ...

And you can do the same thing if you please.