Everyone has heard of Pavlov's Dogs and many have heard of Schroedingers Cat. But what of Shroedinger's Dog and Pavlov's Cats?

Let's not concern ourselves with Shroedinger's Dog, a creature so incredibly stupid and perpetually confused it has difficulty being in one state at a time let alone being in two states simultaneously. When put into a box with a decaying vial of poison which might or might not release the poison, Shroedinger's Dog chews the vial thus ensuring it ended up in a dead state every time.

Pavlov's Cats is a far more interesting a subtle experiment into feline-human behaviour. Pavlov was a Welsh behavioural scientist who conducted experiments into ringing bells and cats eating food. His experiments went something along the lines of:

Day 1: Rang bell. Cat buggered off.

Day 2: Rang bell. Cat buggered off.

Day 3: Rang bell, but cat put paw on bell so it only made a 'thunk' sound.

Day 4: Rang bell, cat said he'd eaten earlier.

Day 5: Tried to ring bell, but cat had taken batteries out of bell.

Day 6: Cat rang bell. I ate food.

Sure enough, the Pavlov's Cat experiment proves that scientists can be conditioned to eat cat food and that cats eat only when it suits them. Many scientific discoveries have been made accidentally while trying ot prove something entirely different. The experiment might have worked had the cat not been buggering off to next door where it had already conditions Pavlov's neighbour to give it a nice plate of chicken liver. Who knows, it might even have rung the bell and conditioned him to open the door as well, just like my cat has conditioned me ...

Pavlov's second attempt, with new cat possibly went something like this:

Day 1: Rang bell. Cat (white) asleep.

Day 2: Rang bell. Cat (white) rolled over and snored.

Day 3: Rang bell. Cat opened eye (blue), yawned, complained about cheap brand of cat food.

Day 4: Rang bell. After 4 hour delay, cat woke up, ate food, went back to sleep.

Day 5: Read article about deaf blue-eyed white cats.

Day 6: Cat woke me up by sitting on head. Fed cat. Bought dog. Dog drools.