RECIPE OF THE MONTH CLUB
Mrs Golightly's Recipe for Disaster.
Mrs Mercy Golightly wrote that she got this recipe from her mom who referred to it simply as 'Kitten Surprise'.
Ingredients:
2 or more kittens, age 8-12 weeks.
1 litter tray per 2 kittens (containing cat litter, any variety)
1 food bowl per kitten (non-tip variety, filled, premium quality kitten food)
1 water bowl per kitten (non-tip variety, filled)
Selection of kitten toys
1 stiff drink or tranquilizer pill
Preparation:
Step 1
Place kittens in living room with kitten-care articles. Place breakable ornaments in safe place out of reach of kittens. When kittens show signs of settling, leave room.
Step 2
Leave kittens to stew in own creative juices for period in excess of 10 minutes or until either excessively noisy or suspiciously quiet. Check on progress.
Step 3
Disaster is complete if you can see the following:
Living room strewn with litter and/or food.
Soggy footprints over polished surfaces; non-tip bowl upside down.
Remove kittens from curtain rail, flock wallpaper, top shelf of bookcase, inside back of sofa, tangled in wiring behind stereo, behind/under large pieces of furniture which can only be moved by Hulk Hogan after a course of steroids. Give kittens stern lecture. Kittens should adopt solemn expressions, but do not be deceived - they are already planning their next assault on north face of the drapes.
Step 4
Imbibe stiff drink or take tranquilizer pill. Do not attempt both. The kittens may grow out of this stage in 2 or 3 years time (except for Siamese variety).