Mrs Golightly's Recipe for Disaster.

Mrs Mercy Golightly wrote that she got this recipe from her mom who referred to it simply as 'Kitten Surprise'.


2 or more kittens, age 8-12 weeks.

1 litter tray per 2 kittens (containing cat litter, any variety)

1 food bowl per kitten (non-tip variety, filled, premium quality kitten food)

1 water bowl per kitten (non-tip variety, filled)

Selection of kitten toys

1 stiff drink or tranquilizer pill


Step 1

Place kittens in living room with kitten-care articles. Place breakable ornaments in safe place out of reach of kittens. When kittens show signs of settling, leave room.

Step 2

Leave kittens to stew in own creative juices for period in excess of 10 minutes or until either excessively noisy or suspiciously quiet. Check on progress.

Step 3

Disaster is complete if you can see the following:

Living room strewn with litter and/or food.

Soggy footprints over polished surfaces; non-tip bowl upside down.

Remove kittens from curtain rail, flock wallpaper, top shelf of bookcase, inside back of sofa, tangled in wiring behind stereo, behind/under large pieces of furniture which can only be moved by Hulk Hogan after a course of steroids. Give kittens stern lecture. Kittens should adopt solemn expressions, but do not be deceived - they are already planning their next assault on north face of the drapes.

Step 4

Imbibe stiff drink or take tranquilizer pill. Do not attempt both. The kittens may grow out of this stage in 2 or 3 years time (except for Siamese variety).


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