SHOW STANDARDS: GENERIC CAT
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 Point Score

The overall appearance of the Generic Cat is feline. A general impression of canine, bovine, equine or porcine is grounds for disqualification. Size is within feline parameters. Disqualify: mouse-sized, pig sized or larger.

There must be only one head and it must be located at the front end of the body. Most often the head bone's connected to the neck bone; the neck bone's connected to the shoulder bone; the shoulder bone's connected . . . right on down to the tail-bone (if present).

This is best viewed from the side of the cat and is the easiest way to judge nose breaks which, when present, may vary from simple to compound fractures. Whisker breaks may require a more complex approach.

This is the top of the head bone. It contributes to the appearance of the tophead, as in, "this cat has a lovely tophead". It could also be said that, "this cat has a lovely topheadbone". The cat must have a topheadbone, though shapes will range from slightly flattened to domed. A concave topheadbone is a serious fault.

The muzzle is the first part of the cat to arrive if the animal is moving forward. It may be identified as the part that sniffs, eats, yawns, meows, growls, hisses, and sometimes chatters. It is the part to which whiskers are attached.

The chin lies below the nose. It is frequently responsible for determining a proper or improper bite. The properness of the bite will vary depending on the initiating circumstances and the viewpoint of the "biter" and/or the "bitee".

These come in pairs and ideally are located, one on each side of the head. Disqualify: more than two ears.

Eyes also come in pairs and are located at the front of the head above the nose. They may or may not match in colour and may be expected to be closed 80% of the time. Disqualify: more than two eyes.

The body is usually greater in length than width. It is roughly horizontal when the cat is standing, although some length-wise tilt (toward bow or stern) or sideways list (to starboard or port) is acceptable. Sharp divergence from horizontal allowed when the cat is seated. Disqualify: S-shaped or Z-shaped body, single or multiple hump(s), single or multiple dip(s).

Legs are located at four corners of the body, two in front and two behind. Other locations penalised. Feet are found at the ends of the legs. There are two different types of legs identifiable by their shapes. Front legs should be found at the front of the cat and back legs (the ones with hocks) should be at the rear of the cat. Legs must be in matched pairs. Penalise: mismatched pairs, legs placed at incorrect ends of body, feet attached to points other than ends of legs.

Yes. Toes must point forward and are positioned at the forward-facing ends of the feet.

When present, the tail is ideally located at the rear of the body, and is generally the last part of the cat to arrive at a new location. There should be only one tail which may be of any length from -0.5 inch to +14 inches.

The coat is most functional when attached to the cat. When unattached it has a notorious and ubiquitous affinity for non-feline surfaces of contrasting colours and is not eligible for showing. Nudity is permissible only in cats born that way.

The topcoat should be cat hair (penalise: camel hair, horse hair or fleece) and is to be securely buttoned in cold weather. Allowance should be made for looser fit in warmer temperatures. Both topcoat and underwear should reflect impeccable grooming.

Any coat length is acceptable. Points are awarded according to how the length complements the style of the coat (such as short coat, long coat, car coat, trench coat, overcoat). The coat may also be textured (such as wavy, curled, crimped, wiry). Artificially textured coats (demi-wave, permanent wave, cornrows, dreadlocks) are not permissible.

Available in many colours, but rarely found in heliotrope, primrose, saffron, mauve, puce, magenta, carmine, kingfisher or sky blue. Any green is extremely rare and the authenticity of the colour should be verified. Disqualify: Purple (as in cow) and pink (as in elephant).

Coat patterns are nearly infinite. Colours and contrasts should be strong in patterns such as check, tweed and plaid/tartan. Others, such as paisley and tie-dye are more appropriately muted.

Advise the board of judges which established class you'd like to see it shown as, how many generations of pedigree you require for import (33 1/3 is a nice round number), and maybe something about a background including an evil genetics lab that injected the ancestors with marmoset DNA or something. You can't be a new breed or AOV without some drama and controversy. Consider including allowed out-crosses (for genetically modified cats please state preferred non-feline species for donor DNA), and how one might recognise an AOV if it occurred (maybe a union card).