THE CREATION OF CATS
On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labour for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might ... or might not ... play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litter box.
THE CATS' TEN COMMANDMENTS
1 Thou shall not feed me the same food twice in the same week.
2 Thou shall not tell me what to do ever.
3 Thou shall not sit on my chair without my permission.
4 Thou shall not purchase furniture that resists my claws.
5 Thou shall not feed the birds until I have merged with the nearest bush.
6 Thou shall not transport me to the vet in a cardboard box.
7 Thou shall not purchase or allow into the house a dog with teeth and legs.
8 Thou shall make all the bed-space available that I may need during the night.
9 Thou shall light the fire whenever I lie near or in last nights ashes.
10 Thou shall obey all of the above or a smell of piddle will gradually flow through the house.
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