Some of the more common spelling errors in websearches ....

I guess you were really looking for George Clooney, probably naked, but couldn't spell it. So you ended up here.

George Cloney was a notorious 1920s gangster operating in the small rural community of Open Bowells. He ran a moderately successful extortion racket, holding Farmer Leggett's pig to ransom until paid off in a dozen fresh eggs, whereupon he killed the pig and made a killing selling bacon and eggs in the neighbouring village of Much Coughing, laundering the bacon and eggs through Mrs Murphy of Much Coughing's "Greasy Spoon" cafe. He also laundered scrumped apples, paying local urchins a couple of bob per bushel and turning the goods into moonshine scrumpy.

His reign of terror in Open Bowells ended when Old Widow Colley's Percheron gelding kicked him clean through a closed barn door while he was trying to steal the shoes off its hooves for the scrap metal trade. Cloney landed in a horse trough, caught a violent infection and spent the rest of his life as a half-wit farm labourer on the very farms he had once pillaged. Some villagers maintain it was an act and that "Half-wit" Cloney was secretly organising local criminals, but if it was an act, he kept it up until he died in the great Much Coughing diptheria outbreak of the 1940s.

Presumably you meant huge pussy and were either looking for porn or for an article on feline obesity. But you couldn't spell huge so you ended up here ...

Born in England in 1965, Hugh Pussy was the son of Marion and John Pussy who traced the roots back to the de Poosey family of Elizabethan times. His most famous ancestor was probably Richard de Poosey who once cleaned the public toilets at the Globe Theatre during performances of Shakespeare's plays.

From an early age, Hugh excelled at the spelling of difficult words, winning several school merit badges in spelling bees for his unequalled ability to spell "miscellaneous" in front of an audience. He was mediocre at games, preferring to spend his time in pursuit of sesquipedalian interests in the school library. He left school with three O Levels and became a lavatory cleaner in an unremarkable Essex town, thus following in the footsteps of his illustrious ancestor. It is easy to spot which lavatories have been cleaned by Hugh Pussy - he has corrected the spelling of the graffiti.

Did you know that in many countries, a directive from the International Pet Spider Symposium makes it illegal for you to own a Tarantula if you cannot spell its name? Spider owners must pass a written spelling exam before they are allowed to purchase a Tarantula. Anyone who spells it as Tranchula may not own one as a pet, must attend remedial spelling classes and must re-take the spelling exam no sooner than six months later.

The only exceptions are those who have been certified dyslexic by two doctors and a lawyer (two lawyers and a doctor if resident in the USA) and those who are unfamiliar with the Roman alphabet.

Here's a free clue. The spider is a TARANTULA. Think you can remember that?

I bet you meant "Clash of the Titans"? But you typed titian not titan! Titian is a type of strawberry blonde hair colour.

A little known all-female film, Clash of the Titians is the tale of an epic female boxing match between Letitia Redhead-Jones and Virginia Smith-Strawberry. Set in the seamy backstreets of an unnamed Midlands market town, it follows the women as they train and prepare for the epic battle. A tale of blood, guts, lipstick and strawberry blond locks, this is a film of gritty realism, broken noses and lost teeth and not some all female romp.

Either someone can't spell "Greek" or nerds have reached new heights - literally. But since you're here I'll tell you about the Geek Air Force.

In reality, members of the Geek Air Force have never flown anything more complicated than a computer flight simulator. One day, however, they hope that their dedication, ability to speak fluent Klingon and make pork product related aviation puns and their many "flight hours" will qualify them as space pilots without any need for further training, giving geeks a head start with red hot babes from alpha centauri.

Either someone can't spell "Greek" or nerds have started a religion. Geek gods, who reside on Rack Mount Hardware, include the various inventors of the computer (hardware and software), the mythical "real programmer" and Lord Unix. Gates is the geek god of darkness, residing in Microsoft hell. Alternatively you might want to look for "Greek Gods".

Dai and Megan continued to run the dairy until they were in their 80s, passing it on as a thriving business to their son and daughter-in-law Gareth and Mary Jones. Bridget inherited the dairy in 1990 and, in the face of competition and milk marketing regulations, she diversified into traditional Welsh cheeses (and into Ale-and-Leek Cheddar which is so popular in the local valleys that the entire output is sold locally) and into farmhouse yoghurts. These are sold mostly in the locality of the dairy, with some being shipped to fashionable stores and restaurants.

Unlike the dithering, wet female diarist, dairy-owning Bridget Jones is a feisty Welsh woman with 6 rugby playing sons, none of them shorter than 6'4" and a husband who knows better than to anwswer back.

The original "dog bread" was a cheap type of Roman bread eaten by peasants; "dog" meant "inferior". In more recent times, dog bread was an early type of biscuit food for dogs and was developed from ship's biscuits. Sailors coming into port used to throw their leftover ship's biscuits to the feral cats and dogs in the port. Noticing how the dogs thrived on it, ship's biscuit became known as "dog bread" (bread fit only for a dog) and later as dog biscuit. Cross-bread dog were those ship's biscuits considered unfit for human consumption and marked with a cross to set them apart from untainted breads. Dog breading was the sailors' game of throwing ship's biscuits to dockyard dogs. Sailors competed to see which dogs jumped highest to catch the dog bread in mid-air and preferably tried to get the dogs to fall into the water where, unfortunately, they invariably drowned or were diced by the ship's propellors. Dog bread should not be confused with "breads of dog" which are something quite different. Breads of dog, or "sweete breddes of dogge", are the thymus glands and brains of dogs, finely sliced, dipped in breadcrumbs and fried. The rest of the dog was discarded as inedible.

Alternatively, if you're interested in different types of canine, and not in farinaceous products, you really ought to learn how to spell "breed" and "bred".

You were probably looking for information on tailless Minx Cats weren't you? But there's no such thing as a Minx Cat so you ended up here instead. A Minx Cat is a genetically engineered cross between a Cat and a Mink; it has short legs, a short black-tipped tail, ferret-like face and it has a golden-brown coat in the summer and a white coat in winter. Minx Cats escaped from the top secret genetic modification laboratory which bred them and now live wild in northern Europe where it hunts rabbits and squirrels and is a good climber and swimmer.

Here's a free clue: the tailless cat breed is the Manx Cat. It comes from the Isle of Man in Britain, that's why it's called Manx. That's Manx with an "a", not an "i". Think you can manage to remember that in future? US American visitors are advised to locate Britain and the Isle of Man in an atlas - yes, there really are countries outside of the borders of the USA.

Or perhaps you'd be more interested in the hybrid offspring of a cat and a raccoon. Inspired by science fiction books, Dr Ernst Nostrauler found a way to manufacture cat-racoon hybrids. He called these creatures Cacoons. With their large grizzled tabby bodies, black-masked face and long ringed tail, these cat-like creatures escaped from his South American laboratory in the little known country of Costa Negra. With cat-like cunning, they survived and thrived, wiping out the indigenous Costa Negran Lesser Striated Warbling Toad-Sparrow during its 3 month migration from northern Costa Negra to Southern Costa Negra (a distance of three quarters of a mile).

Highly adaptive, the cacoon has diverged into two distinct forms - the Mottled Cacoon found in the jungle and the Desert Cacoon found in Costa Negra's dry region (Mrs Rosa Fernandez's back yard). The Mottled Cacoon (population 12) is superbly camouflaged for the dappled jungle floor; its coat varies from grey through to buff and is mottled with swirls and spots of black and russet. The Desert Cacoon (population 14 and 3/4 [due to the 15th having lost a hind leg in a fight with Mrs Fernandez's pet dog]) is a dusty grey-brown colour and has adapted to survive solely on Mrs Fernandez's kitchen leftovers.

Dr Nostrauler is now working with cats and the Costa Negran Spiny Rabbit in the hope of genetically engineering a Spiny Cabbit.